In one corner: 4,000 years of history and heritage, and the very basis of Western civilization. A lifetime of religious training and commitment. Holiness. Sacred vows made to a spouse. The prospect of building a family. Being part of a supportive community. A career teaching at a local girls’ school. Basic honesty and decency.
In the other corner: vagina. Here’s how some poorly-paid Tinseltown PR copywriter says it: “A woman returns to the community that shunned her for her attraction to a childhood friend. Once back, their passions reignite as they explore the boundaries of faith and sexuality.”
A loveable but cowardly alien race, the Boov, is escaping yet again from baddies (the Gorg) who keep trying to destroy them. They arrive on Earth, effortlessly transfer mankind to Australia, inhabit the now empty cities, and commence to hiding. Only, the aliens missed one little girl, Tip (a nickname; her real name is Gratuity… Gratuity?) Tucci, who was left behind along with her cat. Together with a loveable misfit alien and main character named Oh (voiced by Jim Parsons), fellow outcast Tip (Rihanna) goes on a rollicking road trip in search of Tip’s mom (Jennifer Lopez), become best buds and learn life lessons along the way that lead (spoiler alert, well, kinda) to the inevitable happy ending.
In 1962 Baltimore (think Freddie Gray, white cops, the 2015 riots), a neglected mute cleaning woman (Hawkins) falls in love with a strapping Creature from the Black Lagoon knockoff. Along the way, the writer/director’s political agenda is embarrassingly revealed in what turns out to be a racist, sexist, anti-establishment screed.